I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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