quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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