**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
