There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
