Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When did angry sex become our thing?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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