He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
