Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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