its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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