K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
