i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
