My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
