No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
