It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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