Is it normal to miss your booty call?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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