at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
