My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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