someone get that fucking seahorse.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
