I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
