When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
