your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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