may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize