dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize