what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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