Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
