I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
