i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
