Well apparently he's into motor boating.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
