i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
