i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
