I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
