id be glad to
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
