Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
