it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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