And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
