This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I wear drunk well.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
