just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
