So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
