I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
