yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
