Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How does one acquire holy water?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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