I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
