Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
