I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
