I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
