Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
