That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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