we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
