it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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