Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
