i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
