I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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