Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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