just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
