Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Sponge bath it is.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
