Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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