Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
