so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
third nipple confirmed
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
