so explain again why im purple
no
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
