this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
