what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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