It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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